WEDNESDAYS #11 vs. GERIATRICS:

(vol. 14W, no. 11; newsletter by b.n.)
One of the longest seasons in the history of the Coastal Pirates ended this past Wednesday. Unlike previous seasons where the adjective “long” meant bad, this time around it really was a long season. Sure we had our share of bad play here and there, but you can't a complain about a season where going in to the final game the team was sporting a fairly impressive 6-3-1 record. Of course one of those three loses came against the Geriatrics (which is a team that during one stretch of games the Pirates would outscore by six to eight goals per game; of course, there was also another stretch of games where the Geriatrics were able to beat the Pirates consistently, but we won't go there). So with a full-house of skaters on hand, the Pirates looked to avenge one of their early loses this season.

The Pirates caught the first break of the night when frequent Pirate killer “Big Ant” was not in attendance; in his absence the Geriatrics picked up Zombie/Lumberjack Roland Urbanek. The Pirates would begin the game with The Miller Bros.-Scott LeMatty on offense, while Keith-Mike Farrell started on “D.” The balance of the team was rounded out with #67-Wildman-Chris (with Allen rotating through) on “O” while Russ-Dave were the “D” men.

The Pirates were able to keep the puck in the Geriatric end for most of the early shifts, but it was the Geriatrics who would get one of the best chances early when Keith “But Mike was Wide Open” Richardson tried to send a puck up the middle from behind Harris; old-time Geriatric Gregg Terry, who was 15-feet in front of the crease, deflected the puck out of midair right to his feet, but Harris was up to the challenge and was able to steer the puck away for the big early save. Fortunately, the Pirates were able to settle down after the scare and continue to take the puck to the Geriatrics. Mike Farrell would put the Pirates up 1-0 with a blast from the right point. After the 1st period buzzer, the Pirates had the lead by the same score.

As the 2nd period got rolling, it seemed as if scoring phenom Allen Snyder would pick up yet another goal on the season when he squeezed a shot past John Arena for the 2-0 lead — unfortunately, ref Scotty “Scott” Baldwin quickly blew the play dead and said the #67 was in the crease. #67 explained that he was in the crease, but he jumped out before the shot, but Scotty didn't budge and said that #67 bumped the goalie which prevented him from making a play. Yeah right. The 2nd period ended just as the 1st did with the Pirates holding onto a slim 1-0 lead.

The 3rd period saw the Pirates continue with strong play all around, with Harris stopping everything that he needed to. Evan had a quality chance when he found himself to the left of a sprawled-out John Arena, but he was unable to lift the puck over the lunging glove of the goalie. With the game 1-0 in the closing 1:30, the Geriatrics pulled their goalie, but the game ended with Harris making Mike Farrell's goal the only goal necessary.

Just to follow up on last week's comments on “The Purse”: Just because someone painted the letters “CPH” on “The Purse,” it doesn't take away the fact it is still a freakin' purse. It is now just a purse with black lettering. Someone came up to me before the game and said something to the effect of “Hey, check this out (referring to the lettering on “The Purse”) — pretty cool, huh?”
No, it's not. It is still a purse. It's kind of like Mike Farrell wearing a dress: Even if it has a plaid pattern on it and Mike tries to tell you it's a “kilt — it ain't. It's a freakin dress.